The Short Answer:
Individuals, Couples, Families, and Adolescents.
Individual and Relationship Counseling, including Marriage, Premarital, Divorce, Family for such issues as:
- Anxiety, Phobias, Depression
- Abuse Issues, Identity Issues, Stress Management
- Unhappiness, "Is this all there is?" issues
- Consciousness Coaching
- Personal Growth & Enrichment
- Energy Medicine (see separate page)
(see separate pages for workshops)
- Rebuilding After Your Relationship Ends Seminar twice annually
- Moment by Moment Workshop
- Energy Medicine Workshops
The Long Answer:
We know so much more now about what makes relationships work, and what makes them come apart. Working with couples is a passion for me - regardless of the configuration of the pair. So much of the pain that grows in couple relationships can be prevented. Therefore, I cherish the opportunity to work with couples who are committed or considering a commitment, and want to keep it healthy and alive i.e. divorce proofed, are already committed and wanting to fix what's "broken," or are wanting to make a good thing great! OR have separated/divorced and want to complete that process in a sane way in which they can learn from miss-takes to feel confident that they can create the kind of future relationships that they want, especially if parenting is involved. SEE SECTION ON FAMILIES.
Very interesting are families! We talk about them as though they are entities in and of themselves. However, what makes up a family is two or more individuals that either have blood ties or have chosen to function in some way as a family.
- TAKE the complexity and uniqueness of 2 or more individuals.
- ADD the interplay between each member's personalities, values, expectations.
- ADD a big dash of their previous experience in a family.
- COMBINE the above and bake with daily life.
- RESULT: Hmmmmm. Depends on the variety of added spices.
- Self Awareness/Self Worth
- Communication Skills (self-to-self and self-to-other)
- Conflict Resolution Skills
- Fun among family members
- Degree of Equanimity
- Degree of Autonomy encouraged
- Loving, caring behaviors & whether those come attached to expectations.
So, we assess the particular ingredients of this family and how well the flavors are blending. Then we work on tweaking those ingredients to achieve the most pleasing flavor blends and consistency.
That is, we:
- Look at what's preventing these individuals from creating their dreams
- Identify the strengths of each that we can build on to resolve issues
- Cultivate missing skills
...all in the service of each member getting enough of what they want and need.
This work is SOOOOO individual that it defies description. After the initial information gathering, I begin by asking, "What will be the evidence that lets you know that you have achieved what you came for?"
Everything follows from the response to that question. The tools at my disposal are endless; the primary categories:
- The art of traditional talk therapy, including shifting perspective, separating what one is responsible for and what not, developing skills for managing discomforting, debilitating emotions, and crafting an invincible sense of self worth and confidence.
- Specific self awareness tools e.g. Richard Moss's Mandala of Being, or the Big Mind/Big Heart Process toward understanding who you are.
- Models that help us understand in our bones who we really are separate from a personality and body, history and roles, mind and emotions; and how we create & transform our messes.
- NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) - the technology of how we think.
- Working with the energy field, the blueprint of all of our reactive, emotional, behavioral, genetic, etc. patterns.
IT'S SO SEDUCTIVE TO PLAY THAT INCESSANT TAPE OF "HOW AWFUL IT IS" AND IT TRULY IS AWFUL SOMETIMES!! While we need to do a certain amount of discussing the "problem," venting the energy, teaching the therapist what it's like to be where you are - it is SOOOOOO easy to get stuck there. Knowing clearly where you want to be instead is the first step towards creating the path from here to there! LET'S GET STARTED!!
SO, your relationship is ending.
- A MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTION: How do you want to do that?
- Make him/her hurt as much as you do.
- Pretend he/she doesn't exist.
- Stay as far away from him/her as possible.
- Stay friends.
- Set aside our individual "stuff," i.e. anger (rage?), betrayal, hurt etc enough to mediate a fair settlement. We want to avoid court battle.
- Create a working parenting relationship for the kids' sake.
- _____(fill in the blank)_______________
Whichever you choose, we'll focus on what you determine to be truly in your best interest. Depending on your choice, we might look at a model to help you move from where you are now towards that desired future.
Clarifying a vision of what that would look, sound, feel like, we'll then identify what needs to happen for you to achieve that, and set about supporting whatever skills, understandings, behaviors are needed to attain that future.