FOR COUPLES AND SINGLES!

FREE RELATIONSHIPS BASICS WORKSHOP

1 1/4 hour - Sunday, April 15th, 2018, 1:13 PM
at Solution Focused Coaching
Normandy Village
1100 N. Beech St., Building 8
Normal IL.

Addressing the confounding parts of why
Love Relationships work, why they don't, and what to do about it.

Learn About Coaching Intensives For Couples.

Questions? 309-530-9002
ktornquist@ktornquist.com

 

 

HOW CAN I BE THE BEST ME?

The Short Answer:

  1. Know who you are not: personality, body - anything you can name about you.
  2. Notice when your body is tensing around an experience/issue; use your calming tools to come back to your calm center.
  3. Once in (or near) your Center, you can choose your response vs. reacting. CONGRATULATIONS!!
  4. From that Center, create appropriate, ecological (i.e. in your best interest) responses - vs. reacting yourself into deeper doo doo! (Technical Term :) )
Periodically, I will be adding another piece of the depth answer. We'll start with a basic lesson in who you are not:
  1. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Brainstorm a list (YES, WRITE IT DOWN!) all the ways you can identify how you define yourself. For simplicity purpose and to help get you started, use the following 3 categories:
    1. Roles you play, e.g. brother/sister, member/leader of an organiztion, sport you play, employment roles.
    2. Characteristics, e.g. honest, sensitive, optomist, pessimist.
    3. Feeling states you experience at times, e.g. anger, caring, betrayed, joy, lonely, empty, grateful.
    4.  
      Keep your pen moving. IF YOU CHOOSE TO GLEAN THE MOST FROM THIS, BRAINSTORM YOUR LIST BEFORE READING #2!
  2. For the next week, consider the inquiry: What part of me is naming all these things?! The trick is to avoid anal-yzing = don't THINK it; periodically hold the question in your mind and LISTEN for what occurs to you. (When you notice you're thinking/in your head gently refocus on holding the inquiry and listening.) When awarenesses emerge, record them and keep asking the question - reject nothing. Are you keeping a journal yet? That's a GREAT place to write this awareness process. You might discover that writing the question and the resulting ideas, will trigger MORE ideas/ awarenesses.
SOON WE WILL TAKE THIS A STEP FARTHER. Hint: You are more than you can name - otherwise, who's doing the naming?!?!?!?!?